Guys R Dumb...

...and that just sucks.

*Let's say a girl likes a guy, a lot...and she can tell he likes her back, BUT let's say this girl is not as outgoing or spunky as other girls-you ACTUALLY have to make an effort to get to know HER. Another girl gives this guy the attention that all boys want, and of course he forgets about that other girl cuz hey..she didn't really really go for him as much as he'd like & she didn't make out with him.*

It seems like this is the story of my life...or somewhere along these lines. I would like to blame the boys but hey...they can't help but be dumb. I'm to blame because yes I fear rejection, but I guess I really don't care, because eventually a guy will maybe take the time to get to know me & it'll be worth it for the both of us.If not, I'll deal, because I'm not going to become easy.

I think I deserve that kind of guy. HOPEFULLY one day a guy will wake up & accept this kind of challenge (and I'd be the reward) of not getting what he wants just as soon as he wants it. HOPEFULLY they'll get tired of this whole process of finding the easiest girl.

BAHAHAHAHAHA 8]

Youth Conference

I was very uneasy about going to my sister's ward's Youth Conference. I was being stupid & I hope I won't be again because if I wouldn't have gone I woulda missed out on some things I needed to experience. I had a blast & I got to know those people more than I know my own ward & I felt more a part of it. There were 4 boys but hey they were some hilarious guys, & the girls were friendly & accepting once you got to know them (which was easy). The leaders were so amazing. The ward was like this perfectly crazy family!

I got to know this girl Ashlee the most because we had a lot in common, but all the girls were awesome! But I'm SO glad I had that experience & I kinda wish I could go to their church every Sunday even after summer. I'm extremely proud of myself for opening up (not as fast as I woulda liked but nonetheless I did) and being myself, accepting & being open to rejection-which there was none thankfully. I think they made it easier for me to be myself though. I look back & think if i would have done this maybe even last year, I would have been half satisfied with being shy & quiet the whole time. It feels so good NOT to do that haha. I just hope I can do it again.
....Also I look like poo in these pictures....we were camping & I made retod faces...I just wasn't the prettiest haha THAT'S OK! :)

Before Manti


Playing Human Foosball & other sorts of games

Me, Shlee, Jaxson takin a time out from ultimate frisbee.

Teeeeter totter :) we're kinda amazing. (I'm on the other side of 'Herman' he's awesome!)


The Manti Temple!

Logan(Twinkletoes), Jaxson, Me, Ashlee, Mckell, Christian, & Kaden(Herman :))

Me, Ashlee, Mckell, Christina @ some random place we stopped.

Christina & 'Shlee'


Me & Mckell



4 wheeling on the Geocache...thing...

They definitely had some gooood food



Our wonderful service project

Summer so far

Here's an update on what I've been doing so far. My summer hasn't been oh so exciting but mostly relaxing/chill whatever & I've enjoyed it. I got to thinking & um turns out I can't stay up here doing this kinda stuff forever (I'm kinda in my own little world up here), I have to go back to Blanding & graduate. *sigh* it's life. I do miss my friends in Blanding but I'm sure they're all doing their thang & I will see them again soon yaaaay! k so here goes:

Mud slide:

Moab trips:






Goblin Valley:



Airshow:


Living Aquarium:
I don't have my pictures of these (Lynnell has them all :)) But this place was pretty cool. The things I liked best were the stingrays that you could touch (I didn't tho) the octopus, & the jellyfish mmhmm.

The birth of my new niece Caydence Dawn Porter:




and uh..there will be more updates I guess. :)

Patio

Wow..today. Today was uneventful but so..eventful(?) at the same time. It's crazy how things are changing for me, and really overwhelming. I feel very rushed somehow. Anywho, my last day at patio-almost didn't work cuz that crazy Shannon thinks I'm Makynna..heheh. I worked with people i normally don't work with, & it wasn't crazy busy, I trained someone and I had a nice burger(that I didn't get to finish).

But I guess it hit me when I lingered at Patio that...this was my LAST time doing any of that.
I haven't cried yet or really been emotional, but i know everytime I see someone from there or go there, it's gonna be a wave of emotion. A lot of my high school years was spent there-gone through crazy powerfreak boss's, the death of a boss, mentally retarded customers requesting burgers wit cheese and uhhh petsi..etc. and it feels like I'm leaving behind a big part of me. I'll miss the people there so much, they're really amazing & fun, it's how I got to know most of the people I know. I don't even know how to sum up my experience there, but it's uhh...I'm gonna friggin miss that place. I've been holding off because I know i'd miss it, but I have to sometime. When I leave this place maybe forever. I've even been thinking about going back after summer but i really don't think I should. I also feel like i dunno..like I left something undone, I dunno. I wanted to take something from there to remember it, but then I realized I don't need something tangible to remember that dang place.

I'm also pretty much packing my room into bags & my car has become my new closet/room. I'm leaving to go up north, who knows what I'll do or when I'll come back (I'll be coming back & forth with siblings probably) but It's crazy because I feel like I'll be forgetting something or missing something. But I can't stay here where I'll be stuck...actually either place I'll be stuck I think. If I wanna do something I have to make it happen I spose.

But I have to get away, for who knows how long. Things will change when I'm gone-people will be unaffected, and life will go on. Just like after graduation. It happens. I can't stay here where I don't know what I'll be doing, if it'll be worth hearing about all the experiences I've missed because no one wanted to invite me. I don't think I can handle that for 2 whole months. Besides, I've left Patio.

I almost feel like I'm leaving...like I've graduated...& then I remember son of a poop I have one more year. That year (or the ending) will have the most overwhelming sense of change ever, & I dunno if I'm prepared. I mean I definitely want to leave, but I'm very sentimental & I'll miss the crap outta this crazy judgemental boring small town.

I have so many thoughts right now, can't write them all down. oh...this summer! :)

Old Fashioned Kind of Love

So my sister sent this email around of a letter my Grandpa Porter sent to my Grandma waaaaay back in the day. It was the sweetest dang thing that I ever did see! haha But seriously. He kept telling her how much he couldn't wait to see her & he called her darling, along with all these other sweet names. It was the typical, respectful, old fashioned love letter. (AND he said he couldn't wait til she could give him a back rub-NOT he couldn't wait til they could make out)

There was also a time when I was at the place I get my hair done-and an old woman had just got done with her hair. Her and the hair lady left for a tour of the home and The old lady's husband came in. He sat down & waited, and when they came back, they had a kiss on the lips! When they were walking out, he held her hand. I hadn't seen anything like it, so it was kind of amazing to me.
Usually love is portrayed on tv, books, all these places, as something more uh..lustful?
People don't respect each other as much nowadays I guess, I dunno I'm not sure why this old, sweet kind of love has almost been lost. It's really sad...ok so mostly I'm a little cynical when it comes to love at all...but still, love has definitely changed. Maybe not Love, but the way people love each other. There's so much divorce, cheating, unhappy couples, people who drift away and stop communicating. I guess I'm just trying to say that I wish everyone's love would at least make it through this life-follow these cute old couple's example. How are they supposed to make it through eternity if they can't make it in this life or even 20 years of the marriage? UGH it just gives you something to look foward to is all.

Randome.

I'm going to put anything that comes to mind (a technique Ms. Leung-Choi has taught me kinda haha)

*AHHH. I dunno what to write now. What the heck. I have a bajillion thoughts right now & I can't right one. I just misspelled write..

*Why does age in a relationship have to be such a big deal? I mean if someone is interested or in love with someone quite a bit older or younger than them ...I say LET THEM. ok so this does get to the point where it CAN be slightly gross...but I'm just talking like say...5,6,7..years difference? I mean c'mon it's not that bad.

*Tyra is causing a riot in the black people's world. Little black girl's hair is now becoming a controversy WORLDWIDE (I joke). They get picked on because they have 'nappy' hair. Now while I say that's sad..I also would like to point out that Tyra is running low on the 'black people are picked on sooooo much' ideas. Well here's a note to you Dearest Tyra: I hate your liver. I also dislike that you think you know everything because you're black (I swear you have white in you...which would make you VERY hypocritical..even more so don't you think?).


*My eyes burn. I need to sleep because I have a VERY important AP test to fail tomorrow.
Why am I wasting valuable time taking a test I know I'm going to fail?

*I love old(er) men. (and older men with beards love me)........hahahha didn't I just say something about this subject?

*I feel free. SO FREE.

*SCHOOL'S OUT NEXT WEEK. *fat sigh of friggin relief*

*What happens if I don't get into college. :\ What happens if I dont GO to college?

*I ate my last creamie today. It tasted bittersweet.

*Being sad or depressed sucks. But I think everyone is allowed ..or should be required to be it sometime in their life.

*Nair stinks REALLY bad but I think I've found it to be a pretty cool product.

*I'm on something called 'no sleep' and it's very unhealthy. Especially when you work EVERY day this week almost. (I'm gettin some moneeeey)

*I should probably unblock my checking account. always losing stuff...when it's RIGHT on your bed the whole time.

*Technical complicated new washing machine & dryers make me happy. I'm very trusting when it comes to them. Especially when they make beeping sounds as I press the technical buttons.

*I can't wait to wear amazing clothing this summer. If only i can BUY the amazing clothing.

*CALIFORNIAAAAAAAAA. :(

*i'm slowly finding out who I am. And I love it.

*I'm also realizing that, change happens. Embracing it is so much better than trying to stop it from happening. Change is good even when it seems it could be bad.

*Sometimes I wish I could just have some kind of model with me whenever I pass a cool place to take pictures.

*Maturity isn't determined by age. Not always experience (although I think it helps) or by always being serious.

*I really love Cage the Elephant. And Pepper. They're different & kinda like magic candy in my ears.

*I am not here to entertain. BUT if you're open minded then relax & be entertained.

*I want to see the whole world & take a buttload of pictures. but I think in this lifetime, and in this world NOW, it's nearly impossible. Someday though, It'll be like-hey I think I want to visit China today and then vrrrrrhm: China it is. u know?

*I'm a skeptic romantic (?). I didn't think I was and then I had an epiphany. I am. I wish I wasn't.

*I have a hard time believing that someone could be happy with the same person for eternity & never run out of things to say. Maybe I'll learn when I meet someone. There's a world of fishes. They could all be VERY rotten fishes though.

*WHERE'D MAH BUM GO?!!? (Dallas...Heres a heads up-I just asked 'where did my bum go?- where is your answer?)

*I'm VERY tired. I promised I wouldn't do this again. I gotta stop doing this to me. Twitching scares the customers :P

*Goodnight.

Journey of Re-doing My room

There are many things that I've learned from re-doing my room. Mostly stuff that I already knew but this pretty much brought out the worst & good things in me.

*I'm VERY impatient ...this leads to stressful outcomes especially because....

*I'm also VERY unorganized & messy

*I'm clumsy/lack some common sense: Here's the story-I dropped this edge painter thing behind the heater and whilst trying to get it out I got paint in my hair from leaning down & pressing it against the wall, & I stepped on the paint stirring stick 5 billion times. I was a mess.

*I'm determined & because of this things can actually get done....like I was determined to paint all my walls WITHOUT taking my bed or dresser completely out of the room. Basically I just moved them a little. :) tricksterrr.

Anyways..

I LOVE the transformation of my room. I wish I would've done it a long time ago, maybe I'll find a way to take it with me to college! hah...So here's the before & after pix

This was me in the middle of the process. :) so fun...