17

ohkaay. Where do I start. This summer isn't over yet but I can feel it sitting there waiting to pounce. The end of summer. I hardly think I can handle it.
It's hard to believe that in a matter of months I've made some friends I'll never forget, I've done things I never would think of doing unless physically forced, and I've fallen in love with a whole new lifestyle that is gonna break my heart to change. UGH i don't think I can do it.
My choices have arrived & I hate how hard it's going to be to make them.
It's either go to Blanding, finish it up with people I've known for most my life-graduate with them & take easy college classes. OR take the big leap & move up here with the idea of staying with these new people who accepted me, & going through the challenges of a new MUCH bigger school, & most likely harder college classes. Right now it's to the point where I'm actually considering the choice I never thought I would. I hate these kind of decisions. But i'm pretty sure my decision is made, it just sucks to think of a whole new option & know that logically you can't take it no matter how much you want to.
And to think, this is only the beginning of these kind of decisions. We all know how good I am @ making big decisions. I think my new technique is to just go for something kinda last minute-you yourself make it so you're pretty much forced to do something you normally wouldn't do, & just know that the outcome will be better.

Oh & I'm 17 today, I'd have to say It's not a new feeling at all, well at least not just today it wasn't, it's kinda been gradual. The change I mean. And seeing my senior pictures I've noticed how much I've physically changed-not drastically, but I can see the subtle hints of change in me. I think I like it but then again I'm mostly curious as to how the finished product of me will look like, be like as a whole. HMMM. mmkay pumpkins time to maybe go to sleep.